Dance of the Appliance Delivery Men

I’d rather be buying art

The moment I touched the Haagen-Dazs carton I knew it was all wrong. Ice cream doesn’t normally make lapping sounds when you pick it up:  it just sits there looking good.  Our 14-year-old refrigerator had clearly lost its mojo.

There had been warning signs of imminent failure. The previous Saturday, Husband and I had a date with several appliance stores.  I stood in the corners, arms crossed, glowering at the salesmen who made the tragic mistake of assuming the Little Lady loved to shop.

“I want a SMEG.  Go talk to my husband,” I grunted and pointed to the tall guy examining the specs.  I want to spend money on appliances like I want a hole in the head, particularly when there’s so little real choice.  But in reality, fridges occupy the same utilitarian plane as toilets: mostly impossible to live without.

I spent the week in denial until the ice cream episode on Friday afternoon.  On Saturday morning Husband, again, made the 45-minute trek to the appliance store to solve the issue once and for all.  Corbeil Appliances had two in stock and offered next day delivery.

Just after 7:00am on Sunday morning we received the confirmation call and by 8:00am the elegant orchestration had begun.  Cue the music.

Delivery Man 1, all courtesy, efficiency and charming Quebecois accent, flies through the house, measuring tape in hand, to confirm door openings and set the scene. His movements are fluid and efficient and his body is in perpetual motion.  He’s had nine years, he tells me, to master his technique.

Delivery Man 2, in the meantime, has worked the truck single-handedly, stripped and prepped the fridge and and freezer, and positioned them on the curb.

Together they sling one large loop of thick, woven belt across their two bodies and simultaneously lift and remove the old fridge and return with the new one.  They shuffle-run with a 300-pound behemoth between them, mirror images of one another, effortlessly negotiating shrubs, stairs and door openings.  They are Fred and Ginger without the high heels.  The refrigerator slips into place and we applaud.

They repeat their performance with the basement freezer and are done in about 20 minutes.  We have exactly what we ordered, the transaction was pleasant, the delivery on time, there were no pieces missing, no damage, and no packaging leftovers, and the products worked as expected.

I still don’t like appliance shopping but I sure appreciated the installation show.

Bravo!